FEAR

One of the things adults think about the kids is that although they seem to be cool and confident, they are actually insecure about basically everything. Insecure about what they wear, what their bodies look like, how smart they are, how athletic they are, who their friends are, what kind of music they like... basically everything. Most adults are convinced they most of the things kids do is motivated by these insecurities.

One of the reasons adults know this, is that once, long ago when ice covered vast parts of North America, they were a teenager themselves. I'm 23 years old and married with a steady job. By all definitions, I'm practically as adult as they come (break while I vomit). Guess what motivated me when I was in middle school and high school... Surprise surprise, it was my own armada of steadily attacking insecurities. I cared a lot about how my arms looked in my football jersey on Fridays. I cared a lot that Jessica Zulick flirted with me in math class. I was too afraid to dance to anything but a slow song at middle-school dances, and then when a slow song came on, I was terrified to actually ask a girl to dance. In fact, I would have rather dived into a swimming pool filled with shards of broke glass than risk being rejected by one of the 3 girls I thought might really say yes to me. Until I hit a growth spurt in 7th grade, I was a chubby kid, and I HATED that. I thought about the fact that I was heavy every single day. Here's my question: When are you supposed to grow out of that? Is that what being a "grown-up" means? I don't think so.

Kids also think a lot of different things about "grown-ups." They mostly have these thoughts in reference to their parents. They may think their parents are stupid and uncool and clueless and embarrassing, but they generally believe that their parents are pretty capable at living life, and that they pretty much know what to do about stuff.

I'm going to make a confession on behalf of the "grown-ups." If we're honest, we are still living in light of our insecurities. We just don't call them that anymore. We call it fear. So I just took over as a Middle School Ministry Director. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that the ideas I have won't work. I'm afraid that students won't care what I have to say and won't want to hang out with me. I'm afraid of the opinions other people have about how good of a job I'm doing. I know that if I let myself, everything I did in my job would be motivated by these fears.

I think one of my problems is that I think about things in terms of myself, as opposed to the Truth: I am living in the Kingdom of God, and the king, Jesus Christ is for me.

I read Romans 8 this morning. It is a powerful and rich chapter. One line stood out to me as I thought about how to deal with the fears I have. "If God is for us, who can be against?" (Rom 8 :31). I wonder what my life would look like if I believed that all the time. It means that the one person who's opinion matters is completely behind me. It means that my acceptance is NOT BASED ON HOW GOOD I AM, or how good of a job I do. It is based on the Truth that The Lord Almighty, the one who breathes the stars into existence, has adopted me as a son, and loves me because I am his (also from Romans 8. check out verses 14-17). That is crazy to me. It makes no sense. It is the wonderful news that frees me from my fears. I really believe this: Nothing else but Jesus can accomplish this.